Hanging

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(Tandoori chicken, raita, naan – amazing no-silverware dinner)

I’ve been absent from this little internet place because everything has been busy and when it wasn’t busy, my mind was off.  But here I am, pretty excited after the University’s first day of school.  So many kids having so much fun, looking for their classrooms.

I laugh because I’m cynical and dark and completely uninhibited in my head, and I have thoughts about how these 18-year-olds are so disillusioned and will change so much in the next six years.  But then I still feel good seeing them, knowing I was one of them, that those moments in our lives are important, integral to who we become.  (The same goes for seeing gangly teenage girls and cringing but laughing about how awkward we once were.)

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(I stole some Bachelorette Party pictures from Connie, so there will be more on that later this week.  It rocked.)

This is where JadedLovely comes from.  I’m equally angry and ecstatic, sane and crazy, proud and disappointed, strong and weak, hard and delicate – all about very different things, different moments, different issues.  I’ve been this way my whole life, and while I’ve grown more realistic about my expectations for this world and the people in it, I’m still jaded and lovely at my core.

In the midst of all of this nothing, there have been so many somethings, so many moments of lightness and freedom and feeling good.  Like seeing friends from afar, dancing at the Psychic Rites show Saturday night, time on the porch with many that I love, Bryan’s new schedule and all of the good things still to come.

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(cookies Connie made for my Bachelorette Party.  Too cute and too damn delicious.)

It’s helpful to spend time just hanging, putting your head down and working hard, enjoying the moments that matter instead of fighting the moments we can’t avoid.  Sometimes my involvement in work overtakes all other focus.  Learning to be all of these things that I am, all at once, all of the time, takes extreme effort that is rewarding in a real way.  I’ve been hanging, enjoying.

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